Week END.

I know that I’m not the only one who comes to 8:30 on Sunday night wondering what happened to the weekend. Just yesterday morning, I got up early and was relaxed as I had the whole weekend ahead of me. Now, as usual, I’m stubbornly refusing to get ready for bed as if I’m a 7-year old. Not getting ready for bed means that the day is not over yet.

Today was exhausting. I spent most of it at church, where I and my brothers and sisters of the church grappled with some tough decision making. Our church is shrinking and we must change the way we do some things as a result. Other things, we love so dearly that we don’t want to let them go. Over reaching all of this is the realization that we must refocus on the business of discipleship and having a personal relationship, each of us, with our Creator. My own experience in having these tough conversations today was a good one. Everyone was respectful, serious, and thoughtful.  I believe we moved forward, even if not to complete conclusions.

It reminds me of other times in my own life when doors shut again and again to the desires of my own heart; when my plans were torn apart, and every step I took to exert my own will was thwarted. Indeed, I have been brought to my knees, literally, in anguish by what I now see as the hand of God, guiding me to understand one thing: it is not my will that will be done.   As I watch my church family struggle with our reality, I see the same hand of God, bringing us all to our knees in prayer, proving to us again, again, again, that we cannot do without Him.

My small Advent Study group began this last week. I was nervous; new people in my home who had never been before, I wondered how the materials would be appraised by my group members. I forgot to offer a drink to the ladies who arrived first. I trust that they forgive my nerves. The discussion that followed about the mercy, judgment, and promises of God was a rich one that started our group out on a good note. Indeed, it was the one hour in this last week when the spinning of my life stopped. It was the hour that was most remarkable, the most memorable, not so much because of what was said, but for the Spirit that was with us.

Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep. Thank you for the blessings of my family and friends, a place to live, food to eat, and meaningful work to occupy my days. Help me to hear when You call upon me, help me to do what is set before me, remind me that You wait to hear from me.